Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
