shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
