people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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