im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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