Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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