i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
