the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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