The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
