Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
