i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
