This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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