We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Randomize
