Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
