yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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