Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
