woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
