she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
