how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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