biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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