You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
