Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
