I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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