yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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