I wish I could teleport
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
