You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
