I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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