found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
