Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
