I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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