So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
