rhymes with "ouble enetration"
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
