stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
