you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
