why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
