I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
