He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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