dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
