Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
