how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
