Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
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