Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
