just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
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