She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
No stitches, just platelets and will power
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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