Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
