I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
