Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
