I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
