I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
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