so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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