I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Randomize
