Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
