Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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