she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Randomize
